Abyss Of Loneliness

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In the abyss of my loneliness I try to unravel the tangled threads of my life.

The tapestry is like a puzzle with too many missing parts. Some areas are threadbare existing in solitude with no base of support.

I search my soul and find there but for the grace of God go I but for what purpose? Do I exist to serve or serve to exist? In this adventure called “Life” is it living to merely exist?

In a secret corner of my heart is a well of hurt and a well of love. I desire to draw from the very depth of the well of love and share to be fully “Alive.” To merely exist without love is to be as dead, to be stagnant.

But we live in a society that wears blinders to true love settling for instant gratification, coexisting out of fear of being alone. Or do we coexist out of fear of being alone with one’s own thoughts, with oneself?

If we as humans are superior beings why is it so difficult to exist in love?

We of times settle for mediocrity, bury our goals, our dreams, our talents,

merely existing day after day going nowhere, accomplishing nothing, on a treadmill, in a rut, fooling ourselves and living a lie.

Amidst all the chaos is there really a calm?

Make me an instrument of Love and Peace.

 

© Carolyn B. Hebert

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Moonlightflower is the name I chose for my Native American heritage and it is also my pen name. My research revealed we are descended from the Chitimacha, not Cherokee like we were told as children. There is Cherokee on the Goodrich side but it comes from the wife's side of a Goodrich which is not in direct line with my brother, sister, and me. Further back in our family history there is MicMaq Indian. Many Americans can probably trace back to some Native American in their bloodline, some direct and some not direct descendancy. Click on the URL above (http://moonlightflower.org/) below my name and you'll be redirected to my website...

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